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  • Writer's pictureErika Bugbee, M.A.

When You Help a Struggling Person, YOUR Feeling is Where Your Power Lives

As naturally social creatures, we all feel a gravitational pull at some point to help someone around us that’s struggling. 


Whether you’re a friend, family member, parent, or you work with people in a helping capacity, there’s one key factor that will maximize your impact more than your life experience, credentials, or training. That factor is your own feeling state. 


The more calm, composed, and stable you are in the presence of a struggling person, the more likely you are to have those feelings rub off on the other person. 


For example I coach a lot of parents and therapists that support struggling teens. 


Teens very frequently struggle with things like sudden instability, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, anger, insecurity, and anxiety. 


And understandably, it can be as alarming and overwhelming for the people supporting them as it is for the teens themselves.


And yet it’s possible for someone in the helping role to step back and find their own well-being, stability, and composure within themselves before trying to help the other person.


Because in turn, that well-being and stability will trickle down to the struggling person.


More than trying to give someone answers or fix their problems, getting into a calmer state of mind is the most powerful gift we can give someone that's upset and lost their way.


We all have fears and insecurities. We all lose our way.


And yet as soon as we start to calm down and get our well-being back, our natural creative process automatically brings us things like hope, fresh eyes, and new thoughts.


It works that way for everyone, no matter how badly someone's doing.


That power is what today’s video is about.


This is from an interview by my colleague Michelle McCartan as a training module for headteachers and school leaders in the United Kingdom. 


Michelle is the Director of an organization called Pure Potential that trains groups of school leaders, trust leaders, headteachers, and business leaders across the UK and beyond. Their mission is to raise the level of well-being in classrooms and ultimately the communities themselves.


Click below to watch.


To learn more about Pure Potential, click here. 




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