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  • Writer's pictureErika Bugbee, M.A.

Parenting When You Don’t Have All the Answers

I was asked to deliver this talk for a professional group in The Netherlands to support parents that will be translated into Dutch.


I felt compelled to prepare for this talk a bit differently than other talks because there are very few materials translated into Dutch that represent the body of work my talks and programs are based on.


Parents in The Netherlands can’t access my other talks or materials, or those of my colleagues.


So I asked myself: If I had to pick one essential to share with parents, what would it be?


After several weeks of consideration, today’s topic became the clear front-runner:


Parents don’t need to have all the answers in order to lead with confidence.


I picked this topic because I find that the challenging part of parenting is not the specific problems themselves, or even how big they are.


The part of parenting people struggle with the most is that people don’t like being lost as a parent.


When it comes to raising a kid, parents often have the idea that we need to have all the answers.


But the truth is, there are countless areas in life where we don’t have all the answers.


We have a rotating stock of problems around our physical or emotional health, our finances, our relationships, for example, and we understand we don’t have all the answers.


We may not like it, but we’re relatively ok with it.


We do the best we can with what we have.


Yet for some reason, when it comes to challenges around raising kids, when parents get stuck and don’t know where to go, they get caught up in a pressure-cooker of judgment, insecurity and fear, to name a few.


They lose their bearings when they don’t have answers.


It’s completely understandable, and I’ve fallen into that very trap myself.


But it’s also optional.


Yet more importantly, when we lose our bearings, we cut off our connection to the creative process, to persistence, and to hope and love.


And those features represent our biggest strengths as parents, and the most profound legacy we can pass down to our kids.


That’s what today’s talk is about.


Click below to watch.




Today’s interview was hosted by an organization called the Dutch Three Principles Global Community. To learn more about this inspired organization and the work they do, click here.





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