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  • Writer's pictureErika Bugbee, M.A.

Helping Teens find Peace of Mind

I had a conversation today with a worried mom that I want to share because of the enormous relief it brought her.

Over the past year, her daughter had been betrayed by several friends and rejected by her boyfriend, and has become bitter and agitated at home.

She eats her meals in silence, gives one-word answers, avoids contact, and glares at anyone that tries to engage her.

The mom was frantic because her daughter had always been so bouncy, open, and positive.

She’d always seen her daughter as strong and buoyant, and felt that if she could be defeated so easily, how would she survive real life?

What this mom was missing was that her daughter was surviving.

Teens, just like adults, become grouchy and cold as a way of handling their instability.

It’s a way for their stress to come out so they don’t implode under all of the emotion they feel.

It’s exactly what happens when people that are grieving the loss of a loved one use blame.

They pick someone to blame and channel all their angst at that person. Because somehow it’s easier for people to feel blame than sadness.

In the same way, it’s easier for teens to feel cold and irritable than to feel insecure.

For them, it’s an answer.

It may not look like it, but teens are being guided through their struggles just like adults.

Over the course of my conversation with the mom, she started to calm down. She started to comment on how her daughter was already starting to recover, but the mom had been too panicked to notice.

Her daughter was finding her own way the best way she could. The mom realized that everyone in her house handled stress differently, and they all recovered on their own.

One of the things we focus on in today’s video is how easy it is to panic when it comes to mental health. And how easy it is to overlook people’s strength because we created the idea that they’re weak. That’s what today’s video is about.

Click below to watch.

In this video I’m joined by my friend and colleague Aila Coats, M.A.

To learn more about Aila and the excellent work she does, click here.

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